Monday, February 15, 2016
I knew this was going to happen. I knew I would either lose my job or have my hours cut. I'm sick and although I've been providing doctors notes, they have to do what they have to do. I got my hours cut. I'm not really sure how I'm going to survive. I really wish I had someone just to hug me and tell me it will all be ok but I don't. Very alone. Very ill. It's all happening just like she said it would and I'm scared to death.
Friday, February 5, 2016
Well, I had my MRI and received the results. Let's just say...they aren't good. I'm sick. I'm very sick and it's most likely going to get worse. When I found out I cried, and not because I will need to fight for my health, but because I was alone and had no one to hug and hold me tight and tell me they will be with me to fight. This is the most alone I have ever felt in all my life. I'm not depressed or anything like that. I have to keep positive and keep my head up. I'm just saying, it would be an incredible feeling to have someone tuck me in at night, kiss my forehead and say, "I love you". I will forever miss that feeling. I can't even be with my kids because I'm not strong enough to take care of them. Thank goodness I have a great relationship with their dad. I'm sure it's not making his wife happy that he's trying to help me. I haven't said anything to my parents and I don't really plan on it. They will recognize my illness soon enough. I just wish I had a strong man by my side to be my rock and my support. I'm sick. My health is failing me. I'm alone. I don't even have a man friend I could ask just to hold me. I got rid of all my male friends a long time ago. I wish I had a friend. I wish I had someone that would just hold me. That's my wish. I wish someone could make my wish come true...