Sunday, November 1, 2015

This is bad

Tonight something happened to me that has never happened before. As I was in bed with a man, I called out another mans name. Eric. He pulled me across the bed like Eric would do and I said, "fuck me hard Eric." Just like that he stopped. My eyes sprung open and all I could see was the anger in his eyes. And then it happened...he hit me. He slapped me across the face and called me a fucking whore. I grabbed my shit and ran out of his place completely naked. I drove a little down the street, pulled over and got dressed. My pride hurts, my dignity hurts and my face hurts. I've never been hit by a man before. Actually I don't think I've ever been called a whore before either. This was the first man I slept with since my husband and I'm not really sure what to do or even what I'm thinking. I'm hurting in so many ways. I actually thought about calling Eric on my way home but I know that's not the right thing to do. That's not fair to him. This is not his issue. I'm broken. I feel so broken right now. I just need a friend so badly but I have no one to turn to. Tonight I will pray. I will pray that I will be led into the right direction. That I won't feel any more pain.

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