Saturday, May 16, 2015

Let's get real

I've made mistakes in life. We all have. But what I can say is that I've learned from every mistake I've made, I've owned up to them and I've become a better person because of them. When I cheated on my husband I sent an email to close friends and family explaining my mistake and asking them to not think badly of my then husband because he was a good man and did nothing wrong. When I write on Facebook about my exes I always mention that I'm not referring to my ex-husband. When I turned into a liar and a person I didn't even recognize in the mirror, I owned up to all that shit. I made sure everyone knew my faults. Of course I'm not an idiot...I realize that owning up to my mistakes doesn't make them right. But what I also know is that I'm open and honest. I don't put on a false look and I'm completely an open book. 

What I have a problem with are the ones that put up the false front (especially on Facebook). YOU did not buy a home. YOU did not buy that car. What YOU have is all because of someone else. Yet you let people believe that all is yours. People fall for your crap because you are an attractive person. It's obvious. If you take away others money and belongings, you would have nothing. I walked away from my marriage and didn't take a fucking thing. Not furniture or money. I didn't take spousal support and I didn't take child support. I struggled and borrowed but I never let people think that I was "rolling in the money" because I was purchased finer things by others. Do you specifically use others for what they can give you? How horrible. I know you're a hard worker so why use others for what they can buy you? I know it and your friends know it. Just be honest. It's not that hard. 

Friday, May 15, 2015

Need it...need you

Drag me. Lift me. Lick me. Fuck me. Hard. Long and thick. Now. I need it now. I need you now. I need to feel you deep inside of me. I can make your legs numb. I just want to suck you dry. Taste you.  Any way you want it is the way I want it. I want you to tell me what you want me to do and what you want to do to me. I want to be loud. I want to scream. I want to know you feel it. I want your hand over my mouth because I'm too loud. I just need it. I just need you. It's always been you.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Linger

If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade.
I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything.
I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong. I was wrong.
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you.
But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
And I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.
Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?

Friday, May 8, 2015

Freakin Doctors!

So I went to the doctors on Tuesday but before I went I had my annual blood tests done. Because of the medications I have been on for years they like to monitor my levels. No big deal, small price to pay for being mentally healthy. So while I'm there the doctor asks if she can do an EKG to get a baseline for my heart (now that I'm moving up in age). Sure, no pain, no problem. The doctor comes back in the room and proceeds to tell me that my test came back abnormal. It seems as though one of my chambers is not pumping properly to my extremities. She called it diffuse low voltage. She proceeds to tell me that this could be caused by several different things but most are not my case. She says she's hoping for the results of my blood tests to show an issue with my thyroid which could be causing my heart issue. I should hopefully just be able to take a pill for my thyroid and that should fix everything. She tells me not to worry, not to change my diet or excercise. Just go about my normal routine. Are you fucking kidding me? My heart isn't pumping properly but don't change anything, stay calm and wait for my call. Since Tuesday I did a ton of research, emailed my doctor twice and called today. The test results are in but my doctor hasn't reviewed them yet. Seriously...what the actual fuck!? I'm over here thinking I could kick it at anytime and the nurse can't get her to read the results. I hate this doctor. My old doctor who retired a few years ago would have called me right away. Dr. Gina's replacement is gonna get drop kicked...if not by me, by my husband. Ugh. So frustrated. We are talking about my heart!!!!

Rant over...time to go be the strong momma again.