Thursday, July 31, 2014

How could you be so heartless...


The week before Halloween had arrived and I spoke with Joe on the phone that morning.  “I’m really hoping that this goes the way I want it to go.”  You see, Joe was meeting with his daughter’s drunken mother to discuss visitation.  His daughter was not happy when she went over to her mother’s so Joe was hoping to limit the contact.  “Just stick to your guns and make sure you keep Alicia’s best interest at heart.”  This was my advice to him and I knew he would follow it to a “T”.  “Thanks babe.  I’ll call you in about 3 hours when I’m finished talking to her.  I love you.”  These were his parting words to me on the phone.  I replied with “I love you too” and hung up the phone.  The following hours at work had been dragging.  I was so worried for him and Alicia.  I already loved that little girl like she was my own daughter.  After all the things her mother had put her through, you knew that she would need some sort of counseling at some point.  I wanted so badly to give this little girl a “normal” female figure in her life.  I wanted to be that person for her.  4 hours, 5 hours, 6 hours….hmmmm.  Why hasn’t he called me?  I decided to interrupt his little meeting with the baby mama and call him.  “I’m sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected.  Please check the number and try again.”  Excuse me??? I called back…same message.  Okay, what the fuck was going on?  I texted his friend Brad...

Hey, it’s Jennifer.  I tried calling Joe but his number is disconnected? What’s up?

A few minutes passed and Brad replied…

I don’t know.  I’m actually on my way to his place now.  I will let you know.

It was close to quitting time so I figured I could wait a little longer to get some answers.

Thanks Brad!  I was planning on going to his place after work.  I will see you there.

About an hour later my phone rang…it was Brad.  “Ummm, Jennifer…I don’t even know how to say this to you.”  “What’s up, Brad?” I could feel the lump in my throat as I asked.  His voice was shaky, “I’m not even sure what the hell happened but Robin is moving back in.”  “I’m sorry, what the fuck did you just say?” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.  Brad continued, “It seems as though they met today so he could help her move her stuff back into the house.  But there is more.”  Oh cut me a fucking break!  More????!  “They are getting married.  I’m so sorry Jennifer.  You are such a nice girl.  I can’t believe he did this to you.  I don’t know what to say.  I’m so sorry.”  Brad was at a loss for words, as was I.  I had about a zillion emotions rushing through me and I didn’t even know which one was the prominent one.  I was crushed, pissed, angry, mad, hurt, jealous, shocked, broken-hearted, you name it…I was feeling it.  It was only an hour left until I could leave work but I requested to go home early.  I wasn’t going to be much use in the office crying.  After I got home, I texted Brad…

Brad, I think I’m in shock! WTF!!!?

I do believe that shock was the feeling that was starting to overtake me.  Brad replied…

OMG Jennifer!  This is crazy.  Henry and I have been trying to talk some sense into him but he’s not listening.

Every time I bring up your name he just replies with the same comment.

Like the inquisitive, dumb ass that I am…I replied…

What is the comment?

My heart sank as I read the incoming text…

That dumb bitch fell for every line in the book.
 
 
In the night, I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, she lost her soul
To a man so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... how could you be so heartless?

How could you be so,
Cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo?
Just remember that you talkin' to me, yo
You need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo
I mean after all the things that we've been through
I mean after all the things we got into

Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me
Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back and you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend, well I got homies
But in the end, it's still so lonely

In the night, I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, she lost her soul
To a man so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... how could you be so heartless?

How could you be so Dr. Evil?
You bringin' out a side of me that I don't know
I decided we weren't gon' speak so
Why we up 3 A.M. on the phone
Why does he be so mad at me fo'?
Homie I don't know, he's hot and cold

I won't stop, I won't mess my groove up
'Cause I already know how this thing go
You run and tell your friends that you're leaving me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see
You'll never find nobody better than me

In the night, I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, she lost her soul
To a man so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... how could you be so heartless?

Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk
Baby let's just knock it off
They don't know what we been through
They don't know 'bout me and you
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me

And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can't make it right
I'm gon' take off tonight
Into the night...

...I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, she lost her soul
To a man so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... how could you be so heartless?
~Kanye West (revised)

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