Sunday, January 1, 2012

All the single ladies...

I dedicate this post to all the single ladies! I played the single game...not for long though.  I don't function well without a man in my life.  I feel better when I have a man by my side. So for me that meant dating A LOT.  I did the online dating thing and came out of it with 1 great friend, 1 good friend, 1 stalker and 1 that I stalked.  Everyone can relate to first date stories (we all have them).  Here are some of mine:

First guy I dated when I became single was a great looking guy but WOW so not right for me.  I tried and gave it time but it just wasn't going to work.  He was younger than me and wanted kids of his own (not coming out of this body).  He also didn't have a drivers license (yet he drove everyday), didn't pay federal taxes (because he owned his own business), and smoked pot (yea...not someone I want around my kids). Moving on...

Next serious guy I dated I met at a bar (a dive-bar...I should step up my standards).  We met at the bar and ended up sitting in his car for 3 hours talking and getting to know each other.  It was really nice.  By the time I went home, it felt like I knew everything about him already. We started to date exclusively and by the 3 month mark, we were saying "I Love You".  We talked about the potential of our future plans (introducing each other to our children and having them meet).  So, he called me on the phone while I was at work and told me that he was meeting his daughters mother at a restaurant for breakfast to discuss a visitation schedule for their daughter.  He said he would call me in about 2 hours.  3 hours went by....4 hours went by...6 hours went by.  This really wasn't like him so I called his phone.  I received a message that the number had been disconnected.  HUH?  I called one of his friends and he said he was one his way to his place and would have the guy call me.  MY guy did not call me...his friend did.  His friend said he didn't know how to tell me and he couldn't believe that he had to tell me but MY guys ex-girlfriend (the babies mama) was moving back in.  HUH, HUH??  Ready for the kicker...they were getting married in 2 days at the JP's office.  Yup...he got married.  The story doesn't end there though...he left me in October and in September of the following year I left work and found a note on my car from him.  It said he really needed to talk to me and to call or email him.  He emailed me some crazy story that he had to do what he did to get full custody of his daughter.  He was getting divorced and not one day has gone by that he didn't think of me.  He wanted to spend the rest of his life making it up to me.  I had just come out of a bad relationship and my self esteem was low, low, low so of course...I gave this guy another chance.  He saw the change in me from the first time we dated and just couldn't believe what had happened to me.  My smile was gone, my laugh was gone, my guard was up.  Ultimately I ended up meeting David while I was seeing this guy and told this guy that it was officially over because I wanted to pursue something with David.  STILL....does not end there...for months later, he continued to send me text messages, emails and the lovely pictures of him in his hot tub (oh please).  Then, it happened...I hit a deer with my car.  My insurance company told me to take it to a specific collission repair location to be fixed.  So, there I am, in the lobby and who comes around the corner but this d-bag.  He was so happy to see me and just kept asking why we couldn't be friends on facebook...he took me outside to see his new jeep...and then he told his boss he would fix my car.  UGH!  Needless to say, I got my car back and it has never run the same since.  He sent me one final email and he really crossed the line.  He wanted me to cheat on David...that was the last time he would ever contact me.

I went out to dinner one time with a guy from match.com because I thought he looked liked my ex-boyfriend.  He was cute and the conversation was great BUT he had the longest pinky fingernail EVER.  I couldn't get past it.  It grossed me out.  Never talked to him again!!!!

But, out of all the first dates I had...this one is my favorite story.  I went out to dinner with a guy I met on match.com. We had a nice dinner but I just wasn't really thinking that he was "the one".  At the end of dinner I had the same discussion I had with all of them, "So what do you think?"  My comment to him as it was to many others, "I had a really nice time but I'm just not feeling it.  I would be fine if you would like to keep in touch as friends but I don't think I would like anything more."  He agreed 100% and said he would like to hang out as friends but he wasn't feeling it either.  We left dinner and went on our separate ways.  The next morning I woke up to a text message from him saying that he couldn't stop thinking about me all night and he wondered if we could try a 2nd date.  I responded with "no".  He then sent numerous texts and emails that day saying that he really did think I was "the one" and wanted a chance to prove it to me.  I asked him once again if could handle being friends because I wasn't interested in dating him.  He told me he was.  Over the next 2 days it got worse...the phone calls, the text messages, the emails...it was crazy.  I blocked his number, I blocked his email address, I blocked him from facebook, from match and all was good :)  UNTIL...the next Friday night I had my kids and we turned out all the lights, made popcorn and sat down to watch a movie.  I saw flashlights on my porch and then a knock at my door.  I answered the door and there stood two cops.  They asked if I was Jen Brandis and if I knew _______.  I responded yes to both.  They informed me that this guy called 911 to have the cops check on me to make sure I was ok because I wasn't responding to his texts, calls or emails.  I told the cops I was just fine and I was enjoying a movie with my kids.  They told me that the guy requested a call back to let him know I was ok but the cops said they would not be doing that.  INCREDIBLE!!!  After one date and I'm the one. 

Most of my first dates were the normal...dinner or drinks and then see ya.  My first date with David was unforgettable.  We went to Peddlers Village, New Hope and then headed over the border to Lambertville, NJ for dinner.  At times he had me laughing so hard I had to sit on the pavement just so I wouldn't pee myself and then other times I was shedding a tear (thanks to a former "friend" that insisted on cutting me up over text messages to him).  We survived the date and continued on and on and on.  We are doing exactly what most said we wouldn't do...survive.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/First-Date-Stories/226146890795793

Head over to facebook (click the link above), "like" the page and let's hear your first date story!

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