I went through a very rough time in my life when I lost myself completely. I divorced my husband and turned into someone that I didn't even recognize in the mirror. Physically I looked different. I have always been very, very thin (thanks dad for the quick metabolism). I weighed in at 117 (the most I have weighed when I wasn't prego) and I developed dark circles under my eyes (mostly from spending a lot of time crying). I wasn't happy with my appearance. To top it off I wasn't mentally healthy. I was dating the wrong guys (right guys for someone else...just not me) and I was in huge financial trouble. At one point during this time I was the medical emergency on an airplane during a flight from Vegas to Philly. Yea...I was pretty f-up. I did a lot of counseling and most of it did not help, but one woman did. She practices cognitive therapy in which it works more towards the root then your current issues at hand. It's also an "in your face" "you are fucking up" type of counseling. That's what I respond to. I don't do well with the sugar coating. I would rather have my counselor get in my face (boot camp style) than sit quietly in her chair. One thing that did a lot for me was positive journaling. It's when you sit down and actually write out good things about yourself..."I am a good mother", "I am loved", "I help people when I am able to"... I don't enjoy talking about myself so that was actually hard for me, but it built up my low self esteem and helped me realize a lot of good within me.
One thing that I absolutely loved during all my therapy sessions was the positive quotes that I started reading. I will read any book of inspiration you put in front of me. Right now I'm reading 8,789 Words of Wisdom. I keep a pen handy and I mark off the ones that I especially like. So, I wanted to dedicate this blog to some of my all-time favorite inspirational quotes. Every single one of them means something deep to me.
~Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
~I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one
~I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: (1) A rainy day (2) The elderly (3) Lost luggage and (4) Tangled Christmas tree lights
~I've learned that life sometimes give you a second chance
~I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes
~I've learned that I still have a lot to learn
~I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow
~I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life"
~In relationships, the most important thing is trust
~The quality of your life is brought about by the quality of your thinking. Think...about that
~Day by Day
This is a video from the musical Time. I listened to this every night before I fell asleep. Powerful...for me. Take the 4 minutes to watch.
I am a changed woman. So much so that I actually can say...I love the person I am. Yes, I'm still a work in progress but I can feel the change in me. I can feel the good person breaking out. What a wonderful change I have made.