Saturday, December 31, 2011

"It was like 20 times"

Do you remember the first time you heard your parents having sex?  I do...I was young but I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was our last night in our home on Washington Court before moving.  I was sleeping on my matress on my bedroom floor and could not sleep at all.  It was a sad night for me...I was leaving behind all my neighborhood friends.  Then I heard it...not a word from my mom just my dad.  OMFG!!!!!!  Yup...they were having sex.  Not a clue how long it had lasted but it seemed like forever.  I tried to get under the covers and put the pillow over my head but nothing worked.  I sooooo did not want to hear that.  Now, as a parent, I wonder the same my kids hear us??? 

My worst nightmare has come true!!! Haley fell asleep on the couch last night so we grabbed some blankets and tucked her in downstairs for the night.  We headed upstairs, watched a movie in bed (Hall was hilarious) and then had a little fun :)  Right after we finished, I heard Haley moving around downstairs and a few minutes later she came upstairs and went into her bedroom.

This morning Haley came into our bedroom and said, "Daddy, what were you doing last night?  I heard you making all kinds of noises. You were like *grunt* *grunt* *grunt*.  It was like 20 times."  I just kept looking at David but he refused to look at me (knowing he would start cracking up).  He said, "I don't know hon, maybe it was the dog you heard".  She said, "No, it was definitely you daddy." BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  He finally looked at me and I could see him holding back his laugh.

She left the room and he was mortified (but still started laughing).  I have been teasing him all morning.  This is hilarious to me.  David said it will never happen again.  I asked, "What will never happen again?"  He said, " will never happen again."  I replied, "Then I'm gonna need a hall pass."


Friday, December 30, 2011

Let me count the ways...

This post is dedicated to the one I will marry. So many things I love about this are a few:

1. I love that he wears fleece pajama pants with Smurfs on them

2. I love that he wore a t-shirt on our first date that said, "I don't give a rats ass"

3. I love that when we see The Rocky Horror Picture Show every year, he paints his nails black and puts in an earring

4. I love that he knows every answer to every Seinfeld question

5. I love that he asks for my opinion, listens to it and actually takes it in to consideration

6. I love that he treats my children as if they were his own

7. I love that we don't fight

8. I love that he doesn't make me cry

9. I love that he didn't give a shit about my past

10. I love that when I told him my biggest secret his reply was, "I don't care"

11. I love that we have the same taste in decorating

12. I love that he lets me pluck his eyebrows (my own little bonsai tree)

13. I love that he discusses things with me before making a decision

14. I love that he handles the bills

15. I love that he can see and understand why I did the things I did

16. I love that he plays in a poker league and has something of his own to do outside of the relationship

17. I love that he has always coached his daughters softball team

18. I love that all the girls request to be on "Coach Dave's Team"

19. I love that he's perverted and cocky

20. I love that he tells me every single day how much he loves me

21. I love that he has been at his job forever and has a career

22. I love that I can go out to lunch or dinner with a male friend and he's ok with it

23. I love that he doesn't like how he looks in pictures but still let's me take them anyway

24. I love that he brings me flowers on Halloween

25. I love knowing that he has my back

26. I love that we have a zillion inside jokes

27. I love that he makes up crazy songs...while in the shower

28. I love that he made a promise to his daughter to spend 30 minutes alone with her before she goes to bed every night...and he keeps his promise

29. I love that I have stretch marks and he doesn't care (at least that's the way he makes me feel)

30. I love that he was the winner of an ugly sweater contest...twice

31. I love that he laughs at my jokes...even when they are not funny

32. I love that he cooks (I can bake, but I can't cook)

33. I love that he is involved with all the wedding plans

34. I love that he will at least try my cooking

35. I love that he is friendly enough with my ex-husband to go to a Phillies game with him

36. I love that he was on good terms with his ex-wife

37. I love that he ended the funeral for his ex-wife with a funny story about the two of them

38. I love that he chose me to be the mother figure in his daughters life

39. I love that he changed Holiday traditions to include me and my kids

40. I love that he is almost 40 and has a full head of hair

41. I love that he will go to the store and purchase my feminine products

42. I love that he takes time to think about what he writes inside of a card

43. I love that when my grandfather passed away he went to the funeral even though he never met him

44. I love that he can't dance but will always go to the club with me and get on the dance floor

45. I love that he makes sure I have Coca-Cola in the house for the morning

46. I love that he hates when I wear my scarves in the house (which is everyday in the winter). He says it looks like I'm going to leave at any moment

47. I love that he doesn't like that I left Facebook because he misses seeing my posts on his wall

48. I love that he is an animal lover

49. I love that he attends my kids school functions

50. I love when I ask him if we can change the curtains in our bedroom, his reply is, "You pick them out and buy them, I will hang them."

51. I love that he dresses up as Santa every year

52. I love that when he unwrapped his pair of Zubaz's for Christmas, he got a huge smile on his face (he just can't get out of the 80's)

53. I love that anytime I am driving all I want to do is talk to him on the phone

54. I love that when he runs out to the store he almost always brings me back something

55. I love that he hides little gifts for me to find for no special reason

56. I love that he has given me another daughter

57. I love that he's a computer geek

58. I love that his hands are soft

59. I love that he will slap himself in the face just to get a child to laugh

60. I love that he made me feel like his home is our home

61. I love that we talk out problems instead of screaming about them

62. I love that he has a strange hatred towards Grimace and an equally strange love towards midgets

63. I love that he never watched hockey before I came into his life and now he knows more than me

64. I love that he realizes that I'm not blonde but I have blonde tendencies

65. I love that he once convinced all the neighborhood kids that he was Superman

66. I love that his daughter is his mini me

67. I love that his best friends are still the same ones from when he was a teenager

68. I love that he is not a drinker

69. I love that his favorite number is 69

70. I love that he doesn't smoke

71. I love that he hates NASCAR as much as I do

72. I love that he rarely walks by me without touching me

73. I love that he holds my hand everywhere we go

74. I love that I was with him when he got his first tattoo

75. I love that he says he wouldn't leave me for his celebrity crush Jennifer Love Hewitt (I hate that he's a liar)

76. I love that he would call my office, ask for me, and tell them his name was Brock Lee

77. I love that he hates Christmas carols as much as I do

78. I love that he hates my music but listens to it anyway

79. I love that he remodeled his home so my kids could have there own bedrooms

80. I love that he has a secret handshake with my kids

81. I love that he enjoys stand-up comedians as much as I do

82. I love that he introduced me to the game of softball

83. I love that he talks dirty to me when we are intimate (whoops...did I just say that?)

84. I love that I'm at number 84 and I can still come up with another 84

85. I love that he sucks at hanging mini blinds

86. I love that his money is my money and my money is his money

87. I love that he was the biggest supporter when we started our business

88. I love that he has 2 cell phones and is not attached to either of them (the iPad is a different story)

89. I love that he cried in a restaurant the first time I told him my daughters history

90. I love that he has worn a bracelet to support my daughter and hasn't taken it off once

91. I love that he is excited to wear a wedding band again

92. I love that he knew of me even before we met and still went on a first date with me

93. I love that he has a badass history (google: Uriarte salt cop) lol
94. I love that he has crazy first date stories that are just as good as mine

95. I love that he lets his daughter try all the sports she wants to and never sways her thoughts

96. I love that he recognizes that everyone needs counseling for something sometime in their lives

97. I love that this list comes so naturally for me

98. I love that he makes me feel beautiful (even when my hair is in a ponytail and my glasses are on)

99. I love that he is mine


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

My Inspiration

I went through a very rough time in my life when I lost myself completely.  I divorced my husband and turned into someone that I didn't even recognize in the mirror.  Physically I looked different.  I have always been very, very thin (thanks dad for the quick metabolism).  I weighed in at 117 (the most I have weighed when I wasn't prego) and I developed dark circles under my eyes (mostly from spending a lot of time crying).  I wasn't happy with my appearance.  To top it off I wasn't mentally healthy.  I was dating the wrong guys (right guys for someone else...just not me) and I was in huge financial trouble.  At one point during this time I was the medical emergency on an airplane during a flight from Vegas to Philly.  Yea...I was pretty f-up.  I did a lot of counseling and most of it did not help, but one woman did.  She practices cognitive therapy in which it works more towards the root then your current issues at hand.  It's also an "in your face" "you are fucking up" type of counseling.  That's what I respond to.  I don't do well with the sugar coating.  I would rather have my counselor get in my face (boot camp style) than sit quietly in her chair.  One thing that did a lot for me was positive journaling.  It's when you sit down and actually write out good things about yourself..."I am a good mother", "I am loved", "I help people when I am able to"...  I don't enjoy talking about myself so that was actually hard for me, but it built up my low self esteem and helped me realize a lot of good within me.

One thing that I absolutely loved during all my therapy sessions was the positive quotes that I started reading.  I will read any book of inspiration you put in front of me.  Right now I'm reading 8,789 Words of Wisdom.  I keep a pen handy and I mark off the ones that I especially like.  So, I wanted to dedicate this blog to some of my all-time favorite inspirational quotes.  Every single one of them means something deep to me.

~Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly
~I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one
~I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: (1) A rainy day (2) The elderly (3) Lost luggage and (4) Tangled Christmas tree lights
~I've learned that life sometimes give you a second chance
~I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.  You need to be able to throw something back sometimes
~I've learned that I still have a lot to learn
~I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow
~I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life"
~In relationships, the most important thing is trust
~The quality of your life is brought about by the quality of your thinking.  Think...about that
~Day by Day

This is a video from the musical Time.  I listened to this every night before I fell asleep.  Powerful...for me.  Take the 4 minutes to watch.

I am a changed woman.  So much so that I actually can say...I love the person I am.  Yes, I'm still a work in progress but I can feel the change in me.  I can feel the good person breaking out.  What a wonderful change I have made.


Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Tonight was a BIG day for me.  I cancelled my facebook account.  Yes...I am addicted to facebook.  I have been since day one.  I LOVE seeing pictures of kids growing up, being silly, smiling...I love that I had some friends that made me laugh every single time they posted a status.  I love that I connected with people from high school that I never even talked to back then.  Of course, the people that I was close to I don't even keep in touch with anymore...sad, really.  I'm most grateful for facebook for bringing me together with my fiance', David.  Yes, we met on, I know!  He made a cocky, perverted comment on a mutual friends picture and I found it funny.  I do enjoy me some cocky, perveted comments from time to time ;)

I decided to do away with facebook because I have a past that just won't seem to go away.  I made mistakes in my life and hurt people in my path.  Those people don't want to seem to leave me be.  I'm hoping that by leaving facebook behind...I will leave them behind also.  Have you ever had your heart broken?  I've had my heart broken and also been the one to break a heart.  I feel bad that I took someones love without giving it back.  All I can really say is...everything happens for a reason.  I know my reason.  In the words of Forest Gump...that's all I have to say about that.

I have a lot to say...sometimes too much to say.  David probably wishes he could duct tape my mouth because sometimes I just don't STFU!  I like journaling so I decided to start this blog.  If you were a friend of mine on facebook, you may have heard some of these stories before but they are good for me to get out into the's good for me to let it go.  I love, love, love inspirational quotes.  I will always end my blogs with a positive inspiration.

I pointed out the other day (12/22) to David that it was the day I met my ex-husband back in 1991.  He pointed out that it was 20 years.  Holy shit!  I have known my ex-husband for 20 years???  Damn, I'm getting old :)  I was with my ex-husband for a long time and I like to think that we still have a good relationship.  He may think differently, but I'm ok with living in my fantasy world.  I tell people that I had the fairytale divorce.  We did everything ourselves, we decided on the schedule for our kids, I waived my rights to spousal/child support, and I walked away from a beautiful house.  I left a large home to go live in a 900 square foot trailer.  It was an eye opening experience to say the least.  I failed miserably with taking care of that place...but it was mine!

So, I cried when I deleted my facebook account.  David just keeps saying...I don't like it, I don't like it at all.  Life is going to be different with facebook.  It was the first thing I did in the morning and the last thing I did before bed.  What the hell am I going to do with all my time????  I guess I will be blogging A LOT!!!



My First Blog!

Whoot!  Whoot!  I needed to find an outlet to put my thoughts down and facebook just wasn't cutting it anymore.  I don't have time right now to type a really good post...but it's coming tonight :)  Stay tuned!!